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Archive for January, 2011

NASTY UNCLE – NASTY TWINS

Another mind-blowing piece of cinema history is coming your way very soon. So keep your pants on… unless you are sexy lady then free free to go without pants. No really.


HOLIDAY WITH MOMMY


HALLOWEEN INTERVIEWS part 3 !

Malcolm spills the beans on Halloween.


TWINS

I told you I love the twins. Here I am at the premiere of my feature film UNCLE COFFINS SEX PARTY… sometimes known as HALLOWEEN 2. We never made it inside the movie due to uptight asshole theater manager frowning upon sex games in the ladies poop room. No really he took offense. In my country we have sex in public toilet everyday. Just ask Kashmir.


UNCLE COFFINS SEXY LADIES OF THE DAY !

Uncle Coffins love to party with twins! So today I present some very nasty twins for your fun. No really.

These girls play vampire, but unlike new style vampire seen in The Twilights these girls clothes fall off if wind blows.

They like big hats.

Sometimes no shirts are needed at all. I believe this is way American woman should dress all the time. No really.

Now this is how you greet travelers to your Dracula castle. “Good evening, you must be tired. Would you like to enjoy our four breasts?”.

They look good on poster.

I guess some vampire do not shave private area. This is smart due to cold winters in Transylvanian mountains.


The Zombies of Comedy

A couple funny guys from the world of Zombie playing the same joint. El Superbeasto vs Jimmy Cracker.


PARTY!


Lew, Priscilla, Ken, Sheri, William and RZ party down the Reject way!


A TRIBUTE TO A COUPLE REJECTS


RZ TV


AMAZING REJECTS TATTOOS!

Here is a tiny sample of the hundreds and hundreds of Rejects/1000 Corpses tattoos I’ve seen over the years.




HELP!

Last night I have too much fun and lose my car. If you see Kashmir tell him I am sorry. I did not know his pet parrot Larry Lovelips was in trunk. LARRY COME HOME! I ruin everything.


UNCLE COFFINS SEXY LADY OF THE DAY

While traveling across the pond I encounter this little cupcake . She goes by name of Valerie Leon but I call her “hey baby show me me your lovely coconuts”. I joke, no really.

I am sad she wear such big undergarments. Is she afraid of Russian winter?

I love her in The Italian Job. She can give me an Italian job any day. No seriously any day works for me.


FAKE FATTY COFFINS!

Oh my fans are so creative but I worry they are too fat like pig to properly portray me. I am tall and sexy not a chubby tub of fatty man boobie. But that’s is okay I know you love me like expensive Las Vegas call girl.


CARTOON TIME!


Metallica rocks Spaulding’s dream girl

A great video starring Ginger Lynn from The Devil’s Rejects.


HEY PUPPETS!


My puppets remember this? We had so much fun under the stars. Special hello to the Gilmore triplets, you make a ghost host very happy with your very bendable body parts. Sorry for my car, she is too small for proper sex action.


GOODBYE DR. CREEP… REST IN PEACE

DR. CREEP 1942-2011
A dear ghoul has left us too soon. Thank you for the fiendish memories and the horrible fun. You will be missed my brother in horror.


SCOUT REPORTING FROM THE SET OF H2


BEHIND THE SCENES OF CREATURE FEATURE


Here I stand waiting for inspiration to hit. Some people think being this funny genius is easy work. I think very hard before delivering the comedy goods. No really.


UNCLE COFFINS SEXY LADY OF THE DAY

My blonde foxy lady Julie Ege wears exactly Uncle’s favorite style of bathing suit. None.

Strange chest armor, I think this would not prove to be effective in battle. Maybe battle with my pants?

Why does she wear such large tops. Please feel free to let it all hang out. I know I am.


Holiday With Mommy

This is film of very important trip I take to Big Apple with my Mommy. She had lots of sex before she become too old to find rich man.


BRICKHOUSE!


Found this weird pick of me and Lionel on The Tonight Show. It’s a strange life sometimes.


WHY DOES A ZOMBIE NEED A SCARF?


UNCLE COFFINS SEXY LADY OF THE DAY

Say hello to my sexy friend Ingrid Pitt. There are two things I love about this woman and both of them help keep her dress up. No, no I joke. But seriously she is the type of woman my mommy would love… love to have a three way with!
So dirty must get clean in the tub, but the tub has barely any water. So sad.

I think I can see something naughty.


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