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Archive for January, 2011

THE POLL IS CLOSED.

Another HALLOWEEN 2 shocker! This was a tough race right down to the end, but one man jumped out front in a big way. MR. DAVID NEWMAN star of THE NEWMAN HOUR. Here is Mr. Newman hanging backstage with Dr. Loomis and Mr. Weird.


ZOMBIE TALKS HALLOWEEN


A BLAST FROM THE PAST!


UNCLE COFFINS SEXY LADY OF THE DAY !

Hello Miss P. J. Soles, I love the way you tease me with your bad girl next door attitude. But I know you are not girl next door. I know because I look in her window and she is fat and gross and has hairy legs like Mo’nique. I just threw up. No really.
>
You can rock and roll my high school any day.

Whoops, I think your nighty might be slipping… so naughty.

Oh no, she fall off. Oh well, I stare at you anyway.

She looks like she could use a beer. Hey Bob, get this bitch a beer!

What is happening? This is not proper way to use telephone. This would not happen with cordless.

Time to rock puppets!


FAN MADE DEAD DEBORAH MYERS

Check out this fan made Dead Debbie Doll, pretty sweet. All you need now is white horse and you are ready for action. Seriously is it just me or is Freddy checking out her ass back there?

Real dead mommy.


ROCK THE REJECTS

A killer acoustic version of the great “Midnight Rider”.


COFFIN”S SCREAMING SATURDAY!


THE POLL IS CLOSED.

Okay now I know what you like about American woman. Big boobies come in at number one, then firm ass at two with a hairy private in the three. I see no one cares about long tongue on woman, sorry to you Gene Simmons. She’s very ugly and wears too much make-up anyway. I kid, no really.

In this picture I find girl who have all winning qualities. A good brain and warm heart, no I kid again. I think you can see her two main qualities drooping down on her left and right. Anyway the poll is closed, but my poll is now open. So lady in picture call me, no really.

I think I have that couch. No really I bought at yard sale. I wonder if it is same couch? I go smell couch now to see.


Ilsa She-Wolf of the Werewolf Women of the SS?


Original Nazi hottie Dyanne Thorne tells why she never made it into Werewolf Women Of The SS. She spoke to Retro-Crush about it.

Would you want to do big budget action films or independent stuff?

I did want to work with noted directors, but I no longer care to act. There are quality independent films out there now; I relate to many. “Sundance” continues to encourage worthwhile contributions. You’ve got directors like Zombie and Tarrantino who are among those recognized for their style. If they offered me an interesting role I’d consider it. It’s a new century. In the 70’s & 80’s, low budget indies could be made for next to nothing. There was a first week celebration with a flash in “Variety” if a picture brought in $90,000 dollars. That was a big deal 30 years ago; now it’s nothing.

Speaking of Quentin Tarrantino, have you heard of the “Grindhouse” double feature?

Yes

Did you know about the fake trailers in the middle?

It was nice to have been invited to be a part of that, but I chose not – I was far too busy at the time with my current activities. I haven’t seen the trailer that they did put together.

Did Rob Zombie get a hold of you?

No, it was his casting gal. She called and then sent an e-mail and a letter. I’m so involved in what I’m doing now that to go to LA for a day just for a lark, doesn’t fit in.

They made a parody, instead of “Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS” they made Werewolves of the SS. Sort of a homage to the Ilsa movie.

Someone asked me if I wanted to make an appearance in it. Again, the time just wasn’t right.


HURRAH FOR HOLLYWOOD!

This film documents one of my most rewarding and fulfilling nights in my career, that I ever blacked out during-no really! It’s like I’m experiencing the Halloween II premiere for the 1st time when I see : my fans, the red carpet, the stars (including the scrumptious Sheri moon zombie Grrrrrrrr) and let’s not forget those naughty twincesses on each of my knees back at the hotel…about to crack me like a wishbone! I no joke! They did however graciously leave me with Orchidalgia-(you can google that term fellas).

Thank you Mr Robert Zombie for my 2nd act. And also a big thanks to the sexy senoritas in housekeeping at the Roosevelt who aided in my recovery- I’d still be there today if it wasn’t for that pesky hotel dick-No really!


A BLAST FROM THE PAST!

CHECK OUT THESE RARE SHOTS FROM THE HOUSE OF 1000 CORPSES DVD RELEASE PARTY. AUGUST 6TH 2003.
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THE CORPSES GANG – Chris, Rainn, Matt, Sid, RZ, Robert, Jen & Bill

THE ZOMBIES

SID & RZ

JAKE “THE PROFESSOR” McKINNON

BILL MOSELEY

CHRIS HARDWICK GOES BLONDE

JEN JOSTYN ABOUT TO SCREAM

BIG MATT ON THE SCENE

RAINN WILSON AND THE CREW

SHERI LOVES ZOMBIES

RZ & SMZ ARRIVE

———-


COFFIN’S HORROR BIRTHDAY SHOUT OUTS!

The amazing JACK HILL was born on this day in 1933. Jack has directed some of Uncle Coffin’s favorite films starring Pam Grier huge boobies. He is genius! No really!






LET’S GET RIPPED!


I get tears in my eyes every time I hear my childhood idol sing such beautiful song. He make all the ladies scream. No really.


ZOMBIES IN FRANCE

Zombie will be heading to France for Hellfest on June17th. This will be the first show in France in about 20 years. Yikes.


UNCLE COFFINS SEXY LADIES OF THE DAY !

Here are two of my favorite puppets The Poubelle Twins. They go by the names of Bibi and Fifi but I just call them “Yes Mommy”. They get me in many strong holds in my tight places. Ouch! No really.


Watch them in action. It is like Russian porno film only less violent. I kid. No really I kid.


THE POLL IS CLOSED.

I guess this one was no contest. Coming in at #1 with a whopping 64% of the vote is Danny Trejo. Apparently everyone loves Danny, Hollywood’s favorite bad ass motherfucker.


Coming in at #2 is Ken Foree. We all love Ken from his turns in The Devil’s Rejects, Halloween and El Superbeasto


UNCLE COFFINS becomes comic character.

Look for everyone’s favorite drunk horror host to appear in an upcoming issue of WHATEVER HAPPENED TO BARON VON SHOCK?


ZOMBIE TATTOO MANIA !

Dig on all these crazy tattoos man !








I AM STAR in COMIC BOOK

LOOK AT ME I AM BEAUTIFUL. This is how artist see me for my comic book debut. I will now be featured in upcoming issue of WHATEVER HAPPENED TO BARON VON SHOCK? I don’t know who he is and I don’t care. This is about me. No really I am going to be comic book superstar.


IRELAND GET READY TO ROCK!

Ireland here we come! I hope you are ready for a Zombie Invasion on your rolling green hills.


EL SUPERBEASTO LIVE !

Fuunyman Tom “Beasto” Papa will be bringing the funny right here!


COFFIN’S HORROR BIRTHDAY SHOUT OUTS!

TOBY HOOPER


RAY DENNIS STECKLER


DON MANCINI


SHERI MOON ZOMBIE SONG

Here is a tribute video featuring a song by Bronx Casket Co. called SHERI MOON.


1000 CORPSES live at MADISON SQUARE GARDEN

Zombie and crew rocking the movie’s theme song before a sold out crowd at the world famous Madison Square Garden in NYC!


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